TRANSLATING
How victory is
how the Kazak man cut the plastic for the roses, spiraled the ribbon then cut the ends of the stems before
wrapping them at last more of a meditative value to him then the roses themselves had value for us
beyond rites nothing too drastic yet in their double-edged anticipation only one side of which was in view
just then a lack of warmth so into a British pub in Moscow where nothing knew how to hasten - it could
be the year 1905. Mushroom soup, mulled wine. We drank our thoughts. I do not want to accelerate. Is
Moscow less of a broken mirror
since last year? It’s kind of the same. My ex-husband cheated on me and drank a lot. It’s 23:00 now. Earlier I
don’t know what it was—it must have been a combination of factors—because . . . . After I came home from
leaving you at the train station Ulitsa 1905 Goda after we finally got out of the Dostoevsky museum and I
saw that you were not with me, God, I stopped at the supermarket and bought a pomegranate, pure
pomegranate juice and some pasta and came home to Schnittke. I cooked the pasta with onions and ginger.
And while I was waiting for this to cook, I had raw garlic washed down with some pure pomegranate juice.
Then I was eating the pasta while watching a few seconds of this Korean film wherein one character cut off
another character’s penis with a knife. And despite this and the blood on the screen, I was simultaneously
listening to a 417 Hz sacral chakra and suddenly I felt this wash of tingles through my body like endorphins
or dopamine or serotonin or whatever and I covered the rest of my pasta and lied down on my bed. It was
around 19:30 but it felt like never. I fell asleep. Science means control and damn I’d like to know the science
to control this. Which is why even though I like being with you it doesn’t mean marriage. Or we could do it
and go to Greece? Make us into refugees from one another in our making way for the police after you
smashed the snow globe of Moscow you gave to me and as it shattered into my eyes I said aha that’s how
time can be an object. Or wreck diving in Malta? How taking off a robe is victory and hickory dickory rock
me awake because I probably have a concussion from that rock you threw at me when I forgot the date
but you know how I get confused about time which is more like a spell for me dreamily. I want to go to
Santorini and write this which is like playing Bobby Fisher chess without the rules and more like Charlie
Parker instead with chisels for fingers if he were sculpting away a Bernini sculpture from its Villa Medici
existence. Out of it into dust called Coltrane like runaway children – a beach full of them to blow across
a Tiberius view of the Mediterranean. That’s serious sax. Want to come and be with me so I can relax? Who
knows—it could be more than a tryst and at least less than the burden of living out lists. Don’t you want to
come on Kolomenskaya? Here is relaxing park. Don’t forget the parade on May 9. Victory Day. You can
watch the jets fly over. I wonder if anyone has ever drowned in pomegranate juice? D'Annunzio should. I
don’t know when but if I could I’m thinking of trying to light a fire or setting off firecrackers below the sea
to make us see something like starlit down there startling the sharks while shark diving Cape Town The Cape
of Good Hope.
I went to sleep around no time with my arms out like I didn’t need to protect myself fetal so that with my legs
perpendicular I looked like a cross and in this form I dreamt of vampires without eyes and woke up happy
about the garlic. Later I found out about how my immune system was attacking me a series of ongoing
seizures and it was really on overdrive like that ATV through the Rocky Mountains mud one time threw me
down where the loose tires made rainbows in the mud bubbles which is what really triggered the tingles. Is
that sublime or just nice? Because it’s definitely not victory in the traditional sense. Talk to me like a cold gun
like before we were thorny fish swimming in devices. Do you want to team up to see if we can conquer conquer?
How quiet it was near Kropotkinskaya the night Nemtsov was shot and killed near there. Is this it or is victory
more like how you crossed the great land of your country so far it was almost Japan?
How victory is
how the Kazak man cut the plastic for the roses, spiraled the ribbon then cut the ends of the stems before
wrapping them at last more of a meditative value to him then the roses themselves had value for us
beyond rites nothing too drastic yet in their double-edged anticipation only one side of which was in view
just then a lack of warmth so into a British pub in Moscow where nothing knew how to hasten - it could
be the year 1905. Mushroom soup, mulled wine. We drank our thoughts. I do not want to accelerate. Is
Moscow less of a broken mirror
since last year? It’s kind of the same. My ex-husband cheated on me and drank a lot. It’s 23:00 now. Earlier I
don’t know what it was—it must have been a combination of factors—because . . . . After I came home from
leaving you at the train station Ulitsa 1905 Goda after we finally got out of the Dostoevsky museum and I
saw that you were not with me, God, I stopped at the supermarket and bought a pomegranate, pure
pomegranate juice and some pasta and came home to Schnittke. I cooked the pasta with onions and ginger.
And while I was waiting for this to cook, I had raw garlic washed down with some pure pomegranate juice.
Then I was eating the pasta while watching a few seconds of this Korean film wherein one character cut off
another character’s penis with a knife. And despite this and the blood on the screen, I was simultaneously
listening to a 417 Hz sacral chakra and suddenly I felt this wash of tingles through my body like endorphins
or dopamine or serotonin or whatever and I covered the rest of my pasta and lied down on my bed. It was
around 19:30 but it felt like never. I fell asleep. Science means control and damn I’d like to know the science
to control this. Which is why even though I like being with you it doesn’t mean marriage. Or we could do it
and go to Greece? Make us into refugees from one another in our making way for the police after you
smashed the snow globe of Moscow you gave to me and as it shattered into my eyes I said aha that’s how
time can be an object. Or wreck diving in Malta? How taking off a robe is victory and hickory dickory rock
me awake because I probably have a concussion from that rock you threw at me when I forgot the date
but you know how I get confused about time which is more like a spell for me dreamily. I want to go to
Santorini and write this which is like playing Bobby Fisher chess without the rules and more like Charlie
Parker instead with chisels for fingers if he were sculpting away a Bernini sculpture from its Villa Medici
existence. Out of it into dust called Coltrane like runaway children – a beach full of them to blow across
a Tiberius view of the Mediterranean. That’s serious sax. Want to come and be with me so I can relax? Who
knows—it could be more than a tryst and at least less than the burden of living out lists. Don’t you want to
come on Kolomenskaya? Here is relaxing park. Don’t forget the parade on May 9. Victory Day. You can
watch the jets fly over. I wonder if anyone has ever drowned in pomegranate juice? D'Annunzio should. I
don’t know when but if I could I’m thinking of trying to light a fire or setting off firecrackers below the sea
to make us see something like starlit down there startling the sharks while shark diving Cape Town The Cape
of Good Hope.
I went to sleep around no time with my arms out like I didn’t need to protect myself fetal so that with my legs
perpendicular I looked like a cross and in this form I dreamt of vampires without eyes and woke up happy
about the garlic. Later I found out about how my immune system was attacking me a series of ongoing
seizures and it was really on overdrive like that ATV through the Rocky Mountains mud one time threw me
down where the loose tires made rainbows in the mud bubbles which is what really triggered the tingles. Is
that sublime or just nice? Because it’s definitely not victory in the traditional sense. Talk to me like a cold gun
like before we were thorny fish swimming in devices. Do you want to team up to see if we can conquer conquer?
How quiet it was near Kropotkinskaya the night Nemtsov was shot and killed near there. Is this it or is victory
more like how you crossed the great land of your country so far it was almost Japan?